I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
