idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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