this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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