there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
