It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
