scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
