Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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