nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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