i need an iv and a liver transplant
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
