I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
