I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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