then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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