You just made me feel so damn special
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
