He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
