Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
