tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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