His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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