Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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