K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
