Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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