My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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