obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
