alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize