Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
