That's when you crack a 10am beer
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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