Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
