hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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