Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize