When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
