do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
