oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize