We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Never underestimate the power of titties
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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