I want to have your abortion
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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