my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
