i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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