I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
