I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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