"it" just moved
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
