My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
