he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
