I hate your face
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
