I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We left the knife in your bed.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
