Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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