i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
