I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
