What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
