My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
