are you so shy because you have an std?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
