A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think i got beer on your cat.
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