I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
