Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
