ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
