I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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