What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
