I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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