so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
