if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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