I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
