I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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